Disclaimer: Topics on this post deal with sexual violence and may be triggering.
So often we are taught that rape is violent, that it
happens in dark allies, away from those we trust and love. Rape does not occur
in your own house, in your bed, or by your partner. And if you did not scream
and kick and resist with all your might then the conclusion has to be, “You
must have wanted it.” The most commonly told story is of rape being committed
by a stranger. That singular story has been the metric stick with which we have
ruled what is and is not rape. If you never said “NO!” what does it matter that
you had never said “Yes.”? So what does rape really look like, in all of its
variations? Its definition shifts with the people involved, like all crime. We
must continue to unpack our incorrect notions of what rape looks like to
continue to give voice and support to survivors. Minerva Arias does a great jon of unpacking this topic here:
http://www.blackgirldangerous.org/2015/01/support-rape-looks-different-taught/
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