What your Mother Didn’t Tell You About: Intimate Partner Violence

\\\\\tw/cw: domestic violence, rape, abuse/////

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As some of you may or may not know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so I found it appropriate to discuss intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence can happen to anyone, but it is extremely prevalent in the queer community. The National Violence Against Women survey states “21.5 percent of men and 35.4 percent of women living with a same-sex partner experienced intimate-partner physical violence in their lifetimes. Transgender respondents had an incidence of 34.6 percent over a lifetime” (Glass). IPV extends much farther than physical violence. Verbal and emotional abuse, rape, and stalking are just some of the many ways that abusers exercise control over their partners. Although progress has been made as far as creating resources for victims of Intimate Partner Violence, we are still faced with the issue of queer violence erasure. This erasure is not always performed by our heterosexual counterparts, but by queer people as well. The queer community is a tight-knit one, but not flawless. Many times queer intimate partner violence goes unsaid which is due, in part, to our efforts to paint a perfect picture that combats the perpetuated hatred posed by society. Our community has overcome an immense amount of hardships to become even remotely accepted, so a threat, like violence, that could potentially damage our image is frightening. Intimate partner violence is often portrayed as an issue in heterosexual relationships, so existing resources are not accessible for people who don’t fit the stereotype of an IPV victim. Our society is set on the fact that female-identified people cannot be abusers and male-identified people cannot be victims. In some cases, this belief affects queer relationships in that violence within them is not taken seriously, almost as if you are fighting with a friend or sibling. Intimate partner violence exists in all communities and we need to start talking about it. We need to eliminate the stigmas that plague IPV victims. Doing something as simple as recognizing that this happens in our community and starting conversations about this issue can go so far. Spread awareness, fight for resources, use your voice! Something must be done to shed light on the violence that occurs in queer relationships. I stand in solidarity with queer victims of intimate partner violence, do you?

References

Glass, JD. "2 Studies That Prove Domestic Violence Is an LGBT Issue." Advocate (2014): n. pag. Web.

By: Sierra Caraveo