An imaginary conversation with someone who doesn’t believe
in rape culture… yet.
By Deanna Jarquin
When you type in rape culture on mirriam-webster.com the
error page asks you “Did you mean rape butterfly?” Well, no… But because of my
general curiosity I learned that it is a cabbage butterfly (Pieris napi) occurring
in Europe and North America.
It looks like this:
Pretty!
The Gender and Sexuality Equity Center’s definitions of rape culture is defined as a culture in which rape and other
sexual violence are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices,
and media condone, normalize, excuse or encourage sexualized violence.
Usually, I witness this in men asking me where kitchens
are and textbooks and professors only using male pronouns in examples, but this
week I was confronted by a much more apparent (and appalling) example of rape
culture. This shirt:
That can’t be a shirt!
Why yes, yes it is.
This weekend Solid Gold Bomb, a company selling through
Amazon, issued an apology for these deplorable shirts. Michal Fowler, the
founder of Solid Gold Bond, commented “Both myself and our company and it's associated
Solid Gold Bomb brand have never had any intention of the spread of violent
slogans or even poor taste humor t-shirts.” Adding, “This was a computer error
of my creation and I accept my responsibility in the matter."
A COMPUTER ERROR!!!!!!!!!!
Were all of them computer errors?
As well as shirts that included the slogans: "Keep Calm and Choke
Her" and "Keep Calm and Grope On."
… Good one, Michal. Needless to say, this
shirt will haunt me to my grave. Just imagine. You have recently been sexually
assaulted. You are in the supermarket getting fruit. You reach down to get a
bag to put your apples in and glance up and see a man wearing a “Keep Calm and
Rape On” shirt across the Fuji’s. You’re paralyzed. You backtrack out of the
store and learn how to use Safeway.com to deliver your groceries. This scenario
may be the creation of my overactive imagination, but it is not that far off
from reality. According to the 2010 CDC report, an average of
1 in 5 women will be raped in her lifetime, and 1 in 2 will experience sexual
violence victimization other than rape at some point in her life. These women
walk around daily with media and social messages that devalue their experiences
and now they have this shirt to look forward to.
Amazon has been asked to make a "substantial
donation" to a woman's refuge on Saturday night after its UK website offered T-shirts
for sale promoting rape and violence against women.” Amazon has made no comment
on whether they will be making the donation.
Yeah, but everyone knows these shirts
are wrong you Feminazi!!!
Okay, what about this one?
OR THIS ONE!!!!!!
OR MY LEAST FAVORITE!!!!!!!!!!
Those are all sold at Spencer’s Gifts. A store found in most malls
across America. These shirts make me cringe much less than “Keep Calm and Rape
On.” But why? They all have the same message: women are powerless to men and should
carry six to seven sandwiches around with them at all times to give men after
performing copious amounts of fellatio. Acknowledging rape culture means
excepting the fact that almost daily women and men are normalized to the fact
that women should only be valued for their bodies or sexual favors.
Yeah, but I would never wear a shirt like that you
man hater!
Have you said that you raped a test lately? Are you thinking a woman is
asking to be sexual assaulted if she is rocking a shear or tiny outfit? … Yeah,
that’s what I thought. Sure, we can yell NO MEANS NO!!!!!! everyday, but as
long as society perpetrates rape culture oppression will always surround us.
You really need to learn how to take a joke.
This is a funny: Why did the bison go to the bank? TO GET A
BUFFALOAN!!!!
This isn’t funny:
We are all put in these tiny little boxes by society that hurt everyone,
not just women. I am a big believer that we would have an emotionally healthier
male population if there were more little boys in dance or art classes, if
young men were taught that kindness and integrity was more important than
toughness and aggression, and if men were allowed to cry in movies other than
Brian’s Song and Saving Private Ryan.
Yeah, but Deanna, what can we do to help?
I thought you would never ask!
10 Easy Steps to Combat Rape Culture
1. Have open, respectful conversations about rape and sexual assault
issues absent of slut shaming and blame with co-workers, friends, family, etc.
2.
Define your own manhood or womanhood. Do
not let stereotypes shape your actions.
3. Get enthusiastic about enthusiastic consent. There is nothing better
than asking someone if they want to have sex and them replying HELL YEAH!
4. Stop victim blaming. If you hear of someone who was sexually
assaulted, do not ask what he or she was wearing, whether he or she was drunk,
whether he or she had hooked up with the person previously, etc. None of it
matters.
5. Visit Project Unbreakable. A project created in
October of 2011 by Grace Brown. Grace works with survivors of sexual assault,
photographing them holding a poster with a quote from their attacker. At http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com/ *MAJOR TRIGGER
WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!*
6. Stop teaching people to not get raped and start teaching people to not
rape.
7. Think critically about the media’s messages
about women, men, relationships, and violence. Why do reporters/police officers
mostly use the term alleged sexual assault? How can this possibly be an
acceptable character on a television show that is a consistently
top performer for audiences of ages 6–11?
8. Don’t laugh at jokes about rape.
9. Share pictures like this on Facebook, Twitter,
Instagram, etc:
10. Come to Take Back the Night! March 14th at 6PM on Chico States
Campus.
Until that day that I don’t have to carry my keys as a weapon while
walking to my car after dark or take on characteristically male traits in
boardrooms to be taken semi-seriously I will live off of Ryan Gosling Feminist
Meme’s and a strict Spencer’s gift boycott.
Sources
in order of appearance:
Rape Butterfly:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&q=pieris+napi&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.43148975,d.aWc&biw=1280&bih=664&um=1&ie=UTF-
Original Article on “Keep Calm and Rape On” T-Shirts:
20 Example that Spencer’s Gifts Hates Women
Heather, Total Drama Island:
http://www.google.com/search?um=1&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&q=island+cartoon+networktotal&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.43148975,d.aWc&biw=1280&bih=664&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=yKI1UcLdF8j1ygGlvYHYAg#um=1&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=island+cartoon+network+heather&oq=island+cartoon+network+heather&gs_l=img.3...15107.17327.3.17434.11.2.9.0.0.0.150.231.1j1.2.0...0.0...1c.1.5.img.YiDosaDZ5fY&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.43148975,d.aWc&fp=81b96436dbf96c69&biw=1280&bih=664&imgrc=G5Rf0nWkP-YPBM%3A%3B5kpoJym0cEXWnM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fimages4.fanpop.com%252Fimage%252Fphotos%252F21400000%252FHeather-3-total-drama-island-21419920-1024-768.png%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.fanpop.com%252Fclubs%252Ftotal-drama-island%252Fimages%252F21419920%252Ftitle%252Fheather-3-wallpaper%3B1024%3B768
How to Combat Rape Culture:
Picture of "My Strength is not for Hurting"
http://24.media.tumblr.com/a397294c2c08b60d2b90a7ac1e6042e3/tumblr_mj5kx1SSry1s6ma4oo1_500.jpg
Ryan Gosling
Feminist Meme:
