What Your Mother Didn’t Tell You About: Menstruation

Periods: So many people get them, yet they are stigmatized and made out to be unnatural. Menstruators are thought to be un-pure and moody. Periods are something that are so natural, but we are taught to be disgusted, even scared of our own bodily functions. Menstruation products such as tampons and pads are highly taxed and deemed luxury items as if we have options other than to  BLEED EVERYWHERE. It baffles me that a product that is 100% a necessity for folks who get periods is made highly expensive and, in some cases, unattainable. With that being said, I sought out my favorite meninist, Ryan Williams, to gain knowledge as to why the tax on period products is so crucial. Williams, a 19 year-old self-proclaimed meninist from England, claims that tampons should be taxed because women should “just learn to control their bladders”. He goes on to say that our lack of ability to control our bladders is not a taxpayer’s problem. Aside from William’s apparent failure to pass 7th grade Biology, there are deeper issues within his ideology.

First, women are not the only people that have periods. Due to the medicalization of trans identities we often forget that there are trans men that menstruate as well. In fact, menstruation can be an almost traumatic experience for trans men who don’t have the means or desire to medically transition. Although his belief that a person’s ability to control urine somehow equates to our blood is problematic, what really frightened me was William’s claim that period products are not a taxpayer’s problem. This goes so much further than the surface because what he really means is that women are not a taxpayer’s problem; therefore, women and people who menstruate are a problem. He and people that support the tax on period products completely erase the experiences of homeless people who don’t have access to them, young girls that are forced to miss several days of school while they’re menstruating, and virtually any person that has ever had a period. Items that are truly luxurious such as viagra and condoms are tax free and sometimes complementary, so why is it that people who have periods are having to pay for something that is involuntary. Free period products are a fundamental human right. They should be tax-free better yet, entirely free. Every person that menstruates deserves access to these products. I encourage Williams and like-minded individuals to do some research on the effects that using unsanitary period products, which is the only option for some menstruators, has on our bodies. Furthermore, I encourage folks to speak up about menstruation. Share your stories and connect with other people who have periods. If you have the ability consider donating to organizations like Free the Tampons, which actively works to equip public restrooms with free tampons. On a larger spectrum, we need to change the way menstruation is viewed and show people like Williams that our blood makes us powerful.

The Balancing Act

Ever since he could pick up a textbook my older brother Jared has been known as the genius of the family. If I could name any two traits in which Jared encompasses it would be diligent, and serious. One would understand then, why it came as a shock to me when I received the text message I received from Jared at the beginning of this semester.

I rarely talk to my brother, but I began this semester by sending him a text wishing him well. His response back ended with “And don’t forget, have fun.” “Have fun”. The words jumped around inside of my head. “Have fun”. This coming from the person who gets less than five hours of sleep a night because of how much he is doing all at once.

As the semester goes by I have found myself in the reality that is, junior year of college. Where even the simplest of all stressors are at an all time high. As the weeks go by, I keep thinking back to my brother Jared’s text message.

Initially, I was bewildered. I would have never expected those words to come from him. I expected a “Make smart choices.” or a “Do good in school, this is the year that counts the most.” or even a “Don’t be a dumbass.”. I soon began to realize though, why my brother chose these two short, impactful words.

The amount of stress that we as college students face on a daily basis is inconceivable. Whether it be a class, paying bills on time, relationship hardships, stress from extracurriculars, or all of the above and everything below. Suicide today is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15-24. MIT and Harvard lead in suicide rates among college campuses. These statistics show us that young people and college students as a whole face an unhealthy degree of stress.

I am halfway through my first semester of my junior year of college, and I now understand why my brother chose the words that he did. He graduated from a private university in four years and is now in grad school, I consider him an expert in this experience. He chose those words not because having fun is the most important thing in life, but because sometimes it is essential to make having fun a priority.

I never once took my brother’s words as “Party hard, it’s your junior year!”. I take my brothers words in a number of ways. I take his words as a reminder to keep a balance between school, work, leisure and sleep. I take his words as a reminder that not all of the time, but sometimes, going with the decision that will make you happiest in that moment is worth it. I take his words as a reminder that although school comes first and my work ethic does in fact matter in the long run, allowing myself to be a 20 year old holds importance as well.

Finding the balance between the things that make us happy and the things that we do because we are functioning beings in society is difficult for anybody. No matter your workload, your work ethic, no matter the number of items on that enormous platter of yours, never forget that before a student, before a bill payer and before a go-getter, you are a human being. 

-Brina Covarrubias 

What your Mother Didn’t Tell You About: Intimate Partner Violence

\\\\\tw/cw: domestic violence, rape, abuse/////

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As some of you may or may not know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so I found it appropriate to discuss intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence can happen to anyone, but it is extremely prevalent in the queer community. The National Violence Against Women survey states “21.5 percent of men and 35.4 percent of women living with a same-sex partner experienced intimate-partner physical violence in their lifetimes. Transgender respondents had an incidence of 34.6 percent over a lifetime” (Glass). IPV extends much farther than physical violence. Verbal and emotional abuse, rape, and stalking are just some of the many ways that abusers exercise control over their partners. Although progress has been made as far as creating resources for victims of Intimate Partner Violence, we are still faced with the issue of queer violence erasure. This erasure is not always performed by our heterosexual counterparts, but by queer people as well. The queer community is a tight-knit one, but not flawless. Many times queer intimate partner violence goes unsaid which is due, in part, to our efforts to paint a perfect picture that combats the perpetuated hatred posed by society. Our community has overcome an immense amount of hardships to become even remotely accepted, so a threat, like violence, that could potentially damage our image is frightening. Intimate partner violence is often portrayed as an issue in heterosexual relationships, so existing resources are not accessible for people who don’t fit the stereotype of an IPV victim. Our society is set on the fact that female-identified people cannot be abusers and male-identified people cannot be victims. In some cases, this belief affects queer relationships in that violence within them is not taken seriously, almost as if you are fighting with a friend or sibling. Intimate partner violence exists in all communities and we need to start talking about it. We need to eliminate the stigmas that plague IPV victims. Doing something as simple as recognizing that this happens in our community and starting conversations about this issue can go so far. Spread awareness, fight for resources, use your voice! Something must be done to shed light on the violence that occurs in queer relationships. I stand in solidarity with queer victims of intimate partner violence, do you?

References

Glass, JD. "2 Studies That Prove Domestic Violence Is an LGBT Issue." Advocate (2014): n. pag. Web.

By: Sierra Caraveo